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"You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend!"
Buffy Anne Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Seems harming that guy was a really bad idea. His girlfriend is gonna kick your ass.

A violently protective girlfriend essentially acts like a much younger Mama Bear, except her Berserk Button is harm to her mate rather than to the kids; note that this inverts the usual expectation that the boyfriend is violently protective of the girlfriend.

This is common with an Action Girl, Hot Amazon, Cute Bruiser or Lady of War. Sometimes a Butch Lesbian will act this way about her girlfriend due to the stereotype of being stronger and more "dominant", though Lipstick Lesbians can also pull it off when it's needed. Personalities associated with it include Tsundere and Yandere. A Non-Action Guy or dudes otherwise incompetent in combat seem to attract these women. Most types of The Woobie (except Jerkass Woobie and Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds, and sometimes even THEY do) also draw the attention of these types of women out of an instinct to ease their suffering.

Sometimes, if she herself doesn't treat her boyfriend exceptionally well, there can be a variant what can be summed up as, "Hey, nobody picks on him but me."

Compare to Understanding Boyfriend for the inverted variant. See also More Deadly Than the Male, Action Girlfriend, and Bodyguard Crush. A mutually violently protective couple is a Battle Couple.

Examples of Violently Protective Girlfriend include:


Anime & Manga[]

  • Great Teacher Onizuka features this relationship with Tsundere Anko Uehara and Noboru Yoshikawa (who plays the role of Understanding Boyfriend). You NEVER mess with Noboru in Anko's presence unless you want a thorough beating.
  • Black Lagoon: As far as Revy is concerned, harming Rock in any manner is punishable by a disproportionate beat down for a first offense, and a bullet for a second (or even for a first if it's severe enough). When Chaka wants to goad her into a gunfight, he does so by wantonly beating Rock — and, later on, he gets what he had coming for it, as Revy trashes him for a bit and then leaves him at the mercy of his other victim's bodyguard: Ginji Matsuzaki, who is quick to give him a particularly horrible Cruel and Unusual Death for the shit he pulled on his charge, Yakuza Princess Yukio.
  • Omamori Himari's title character invokes this when she sees Amakawa Yuuto take a hit for her. Note that she's supposed to be his bodyguard. Violence ensues, and ends with a Pillar of Light.
    • Himari "only" went into a murderous rage and sliced of the arm of a skyscraper-sized giant with one hit. The Pillar of Light was Yuuto's doing - to calm her down again. Yes, she was that pissed.
  • A humorous example in Keroro Gunsou: Messing with Fuyuki is a great way to get Momoka to kick your ass, even though she isn't technically his girlfriend. Yet.
  • In a Filler episode of DragonBall Z, a really horrible tutor decides to be cruel to Gohan, treating him like dirt, and daring to insult Goku in front of the kid... Gohan WOULD have kicked the guy to Namek and back, but he never got the chance — his Mom, Chichi, didn't take too kindly to hearing someone insult her husband.
  • Axis Powers Hetalia
    • "Seize vital regions, seize vital regions... CRUSH PRUSSIA, CRUSH PRUSSIA!!" Really, people, don't mess with Austria unless you want his Hot Amazon girlfriend/wife Hungary to pound you.
    • Ho Yay version: in the Christmas/New Years 2010 Special, Finland snapped when his partner Sweden (who refers to him as "his wife") was hit with The Worf Effect and managed to put up quite a fight against his attacker. Too bad he got caught too.
  • Mirai Nikki: Yuno Gasai, in freaking SPADES. Never ever threaten or harm or even get within 10 feet of Yukki. Because Yuno will be watching.
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 Yuno: All who stand between Yukki and me can just DIE!

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  Akane: Let me go! If you hurt him, I swear that I'll...

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Comedy[]

  • Pablo Francisco has speculated that this is the best part of having a Mexican girlfriend, because if you get in a fight, she will jump in and wipe the floor with the other guy.

Comic Books[]

  • Laura "X-23" Kinney, as Lady Deathstryke found out the hard way.
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 X-23: You were dead the second you touched Julian Keller.

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  • Susan Richards for Reed Richards, after she Took a Level In Badass and became the most powerful member of the Fantastic Four.
  • The Pre-Crisis Wonder Woman, for Steve Trevor.
  • Both Betty and Veronica can occasionally become this for Archie.
  • In American Vampire, Henry can usually take care of himself...but when he's overmatched, Pearl is more than willing to step up to the plate and deal with things. As Skinner Sweet, among others, found out the hard way.
  • Big Barda will destroy anyone who even looks at her husband Mister Miracle funny. That, or she'll teleport you to another galaxy...in the middle of space.
    • It's less her being a Violently Protective Girlfriend and more her being violent, period. Barda seems to believe all problems will go away if you beat them to an unrecognizable pulp. Which admittedly is accurate most of the time.

Fan Works[]

  • In the Shamanic Princess fanfiction Divine Sorceress, Graham remains viciously protective of Tiara, but now, Tiara would be just as fierce in protecting him as well. When Graham got attacked by a Ryami, and advanced Mihan demon, an enraged Tiara switched to her demon form and struck at the Ryami without warning, and then she killed it.
  • Nutsy from The Adventures Of Blinky Bill fanfic Scars Are Forever is extremely protective of Shifty Dingo. When she finds out Jeromy tortured him and he's in a coma in the hospital, she pulls a Leeroy Jenkins on Jeromy and gets kidnapped but Danny Dingo saves her just as she is about to get raped by him by shooting Jeromy in the head. Nutsy then goes Extreme Melee Revenge on Jeromy's corpse, beheading it, dismembering it, disemboweling it and tearing its eyes out before dousing it with gasoline and setting it on fire. So yeah, hurting Shifty is practically Nutsy's Berserk Button in any of Canzet Yote's Blinky Bill fics.
  • In the Death Note fic Gods of This New World Mello stabs Misa in the chest with a sword but then when he threatens her Light, Misa gets back up and keeps fighting him anyway.
  • In one continuum of Discworld fanfic, wizard Ponder Stibbons, the first to describe himself as weedy and ineffectual, ends up with a girlfriend who thinks the world of him. She is a sinewy, athletically graceful, hard as nails product of Filigree Street and her native Howondaland and she is prepared to deal a world of pain to anyone spoiling his day. In fact, she is a career Assassin. Ponder considers being with her is quite restful compared to the HEM and dealing with the Faculty. Ponder's love life with a trained killer may be found in the stories of A.A. Pessimal on Fanfic.Net.

Films — Live-Action[]

  • Avatar: Neytiri is vividly protective of Jake, crouching over him with knife drawn and teeth bared, hissing, in two scenes where he is unconscious and under threat. And when Quaritch is about to kill Jake, she puts two arrows into his chest.
  • Trinity from The Matrix.
  • Underworld: Hurting or killing Michael can result in Selene decapitating you or having your body ripped to shreds.
  • In Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Indy tells Mutt to punch a college student wearing a letterman jacket to escape two armed KGB agents at a malt shop. His girlfriend yells "Hey! That's my boyfriend!" and punches Mutt, causing a big fight between jocks and greasers.
  • Initially a Distressed Damsel in Iron Man 3, Pepper Potts, injected with Extremis, is the one who finishes off Aldrich Killian when he threatens her boyfriend Tony.

Literature[]

  • Sally Kimball of Encyclopedia Brown fame. Not quite played straight, however; Encyclopedia paid Sally to be his bodyguard. To what extent her affections eventually became engaged is less clear, and there is at least one mystery in which she defends another guy against Encyclopedia's (correct) accusations, although not physically.
  • Explicitly used in the Shield, Sword, and Crown series, where Arisa declares herself both Weasel's and Edoran's bodyguard at various points in the book. Slightly subverted in that she isn't interested in them romantically at all, and thinks of them as best friends.
  • In Tamora Pierce's Emperor Mage (Immortals #3) Daine believes Numair has been executed by the Carthakis and proceeds to go on a rampage, reanimating a bunch of dinosaur skeletons, and razing the entire Imperial Palace. When confronted later, she says "I thought you were dead. I lost my temper."
  • Lord Byron's explanation in Don Juan for why a Woman Scorned is more dangerous than a Mama Bear could also apply to a Violently Protective Girlfriend:
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 For what is stealing young ones, few or many,

To cutting short their hopes of having any?

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  • Una and Britomart of The Faerie Queene won't let anyone harm their fianc�s, the Knight of the Red Cross and Artegall.
  • When she found out who hired the killer that attacked her boyfriend, Honor Harrington duelled him with pistols.
  • Discworld
    • While Carrot is no weakling, standing over 6ft and extremely strong, his girlfriend Angua (a werewolf) is very protective of him nonetheless, sensing on an instinctual level when he is injured or in danger.
    • From Unseen Academicals, we also have Glenda being very protective of Mr. Nutt.
    • This is a classic Pratchett gambit: the weakly ineffectual male who acquires a tough and protective girlfriend. Nerdy Nijel, the would-be hero, ends up with killer hairdresser Conina fighting for his life.
    • Rincewind, who at one point had Conina's favour, is similarly bodyguarded by the ninja-trained Pretty Butterfly
    • Even functioning males such as Moist von Lipwig benefit: Adora Belle Dearheart wins a fight for him in the Mended Drum, sending a bully away whimpering. As the bully would otherwise have ripped Moist's head off, and Adorah Belle knew this, he is only too thankful, but takes note of what he has just witnessed.
  • In Swedish fantasy novel Spiran och staven (The Sceptre and the Quarterstaff) Fox's overweight girlfriend Livneth turns out to be a cold-blooded and very skilled knife-wielder when Fox is threatened by a gang of hoods. The fact that Livneth originally belonged to a tribe of forest barbarians might have something to do with it.
  • Rachel in Animorphs. When Tobias is tortured by Taylor, Rachel is ready to literally rip her to pieces in grizzly morph, and it's only Tobias's pleading that stops her.
  • Angelina, in Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat series: began as somewhat yandere for Slppery Jim di Griz, her personality integrated more after marrying him. But let anyone dare approach Jim with violence in mind when Angelina is nearby...
  • In The Dresden Files, Karrin Murphy may not necessarily be Harry's girlfriend (yet), but the lengths she will go to to protect him are unbelievable. Standing over his incapacitated form and shooting MacGuffin .22 calibre bullets at a half-ton of demon werewolf is only one of the many instances of this. In another, a chainsaw is involved.
    • Harry indulges in this regularly. He started a war, obliterating a large amount of powerful vampires because they took his girlfriend.

Live-Action TV[]

  • Fiona from Burn Notice. And she's a Trigger Happy ex-terrorist, so when she gets pissed off things explode. This comes back to bite her, when a psychiatrist uses that knowledge to frame her for murder by causing her to explode Michael's ex-mentor.
  • You might think that a crime lord would be immune from this trope, but no. Season I of NYPD Blue had Janice Licalsi, a corrupt New York Cop who just happened to fall in love with honest cop John Kelly. When mafia boss Angelo Marino (whose pad she's on) demands that she kill Kelly, Licalsi cold bloodedly murders Marino and his driver.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer
    • Willow Rosenberg, with regards to Tara. When Glory drove Tara insane, she only survived her battle with Willow because she was a Physical God. When Warren killed Tara, Willow flayed him alive.
      • Also doubles as a violently protective BFF. She threatens death on anyone who hurts Buffy.
    • Buffy herself was like this with regards to Angel.
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 Buffy: You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend!

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  • Doctor Who
    • Amy Pond. Any time someone hurts her boyfriend Rory, she will end them. In one, she incinerates an alien fish disguised as a vampire. In another (which was all a dream), when Rory is hurt by a bunch of aliens disguised as old people, it creates the surreal image of Amy (at the end of a very large pregnancy) mowing down a group of elderly citizens in a van.
    • The other way around is also true. The normally timid Rory can go berserk if something happens to Amy. Of course, he's had 2000 years of experience as an Auton/Roman legionnaire.
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    • It's also not a good idea to injure the Doctor while River's around, even if you happen to be a Dalek.
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 "Mercy?"

"Say it again."

"Mercy!"

"One more time."

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    • She also once destroyed time to stop him from dying. Possibly, this is just very slightly Yandere.
    • Rose. Hurt the Doctor (or Jack) and she will ascend to being a Physical God and obliterate you with the raw power of time itself.
  • The X-Files
    • Dana Scully does not take kindly to anyone hurting her partner. She may be petite, but she's smart as a whip and has great aim. In "Beyond the Sea", after Mulder is shot:
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 Scully: This was a trap for Mulder because he helped put you away. Well, I came here to tell you that if he dies because of what you�ve done, four days from now, no-one will be able to stop me from being the one that will throw the switch and gas you out of this life for good, you son of a bitch!

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    • The episode "Biogenesis" and the entire "Sixth Extinction" arc was pretty much Scully kicking ass because the Cigarette Smoking Man and Diana Fowley had caused Mulder's fatally unusual brain activity. The same happens in Season 8, despite the fact that she's pregnant at the time. And this totally works in reverse, as well. As noted on that page, Mulder and Scully are each other's Berserk Button.
    • The second movie has her bashing bad guys over the head with firewood to get to Mulder.
  • Sarah from Chuck. While she isn't exactly Chuck's girlfriend ("it's complicated"), at least not in the first two seasons, she tends to get displeased when someone threatens or actually tries to hurt him. Just ask Michael Clarke Duncan. After he dropped Chuck off the roof of a high-rise, Sarah got understandably pissed, and the only reason he survived is because he's built like a tank. The writers turned this Up to Eleven in Chuck vs. Phase Three when Sarah tears apart Thailand looking for a kidnapped Chuck. Everyone from the lowest mook to the episode's Big Bad was scared shitless of the "Giant Blonde She-Male."

    She actually murders a man in cold blood after disarming him, who taunts her that he knows that Chuck is the Intersect and will tell his bosses. Chuck witnesses the murder, which doesn't make things better between them.
  • The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air had this. Will starts dating a girl and brings her to a bowling alley, where they're harassed by some meat-head trying to woo her away. He knocks out Will with one punch, but then gets BODY-SLAMMED by the petite woman. When Will gets up and realizes what happened...
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 Girl: I'm sorry, Wil. I meant to tell you, I... I'm a--

Will: A what, a Power Ranger?!

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  • Firefly:
    • Do not ever harm, or threaten to harm, Wash in front of Zoe. Not if you want to live.
    • More of a Violently Protective little sister, but basically the same thing goes for River and Simon. River will end you.
  • Lily is like this towards Marshall in How I Met Your Mother, once even delivering a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown to a woman who forcibly kissed Marshall when she was drunk. It's rather hilarious though, because Marshall is burly, 6'4, and a practiced fighter, while Lily is about a third of his size, small-boned, and very girly.
  • Parker on Leverage occasionally gets this way with Hardison. In the Grave Danger Job she draws fire from an Uzi and during the Experimental Job she delivers a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown against the members of the secret society that had captured Hardison
  • Aeryn to John on Farscape. Once he takes his badass levels he's perfectly capable of fending for himself (and saves her ass plenty of times), but you do not mess with John and get away with it, at any stage of their relationship.
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 Aeryn: (while holding two women by their necks up against a mirror) Now listen to me closely so that there's no misunderstanding. I don't know what game's being played on this little planet of yours, and I don't really care. What I care about is that a good friend of mine is not hurt — in any sense of the word. And if he is, I will personally take revenge on both of your overly made-up faces.

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  • Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Attempt to harm Odo, and Kira Nerys will visit untold amounts of pain and whoopass upon your unsuspecting self. And she will do it in the most efficient manner possible.
  • Lindsay Messer on CSI: NY fits into this-it was both her husband and child being threatened by Shane Casey, but she did shoot him. And probably would get physical again if she had to, considering the verbal confrontation with the rookie cop who lied and tried to get Danny in trouble to protect herself. No blows were exchanged, but it's obvious she'd go there again if it came to it.
  • Temperance Brennan on Bones. Though Booth usually stands up for her, even though she can handle herself, there's little reason to doubt she'd fight to save him. She might even have once or twice, hard to recall.
  • Babylon 5's Ambassador Delenn doesn't get involved in dust-ups most of the time to keep John Sheridan safe. She doesn't have to. She's got an entire space navy of Cool Starships at her command, and she is not afraid to use them. However, when she does get into more personal fighting, that willowy, ladylike Minbari can proceed to kick ass with the rest of them. Don't hurt her boyfriend. Ever.
  • Carla has hints of this towards Turk in Scrubs, at one point Turk has to physically pick her up and carry her off to stop her from beating up a fellow surgeon who was mocking him. She's also a Spicy Latina, for extra points.
     

Music[]

Puppet Shows[]

  • Miss Piggy. In The Muppet Movie, when criminals threaten "her Frog", she likes to use violence, and a lot of it.

Video Games[]

  • In Disgaea 3 Absence of Justice, causing harm (direct or indirect) to Almaz is the fastest way to piss Princess Sapphire off. Many of her Ax Crazy thoughts are motivated by this trope.
  • One-sided example in Sonic the Hedgehog with Amy Rose when Silver tried to kill Sonic. Becomes her Crowning Moment of Awesome, and a pic of her Death Glare during this scene is a good page image candidate.
  • Odin Sphere: Although she didn't like Oswald at first, Gwendolyn shows that she is capable of wreaking all sorts of havoc when he's in danger. One of the game's major Nice Job Breaking It, Hero incidents revolves around this trope.
  • This is why Rozalin in Disgaea 2 Cursed Memories willingly lets her Super-Powered Evil Side out in the end of the game. How this turns out depends on the ending you get.
  • In The Walking Dead, Clementine is one for Gabe in season 3 and optionally Louis or Violet in season 4.
  • The game Wife Quest is made of this trope. Monster girls keep falling for Mia’s husband Fernando, so she starts wiping the floor with them. And she travels all around the world to get her husband back from whatever monster girl gets their hands on him.
  • The Mother Yeti in EVO Search for Eden attacks you because you killed her mate.
  • Mass Effect:
    • Liara apparently subscribes to this trope. After Shepard was killed in between games, she went on a one-woman crusade to recover the Commander's body from both the Shadow Broker and even the Collectors. She then went on a two year quest for revenge on the Shadow Broker (arguably the most powerful being in the galaxy) for even THINKING about causing harm to him/her.
    • Ashley Williams also skirts this line during the first game, if you're unable to prevent Wrex from his Face Heel Turn, she will kill him to prevent him from harming Shepard.
    • A female Shepard can become this depending on the player.
    • Tali also gets hints of this in the third game. When you you find clips of the Illusive Man casually discussing the best ways to emotionally manipulate Shepard, what is her very calm response?
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 Tali: He needs to die.

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  • Bobcat in City of Heroes. In Issue 19, there's a task force that finishes with a battle between your team, and her and Neuron. Defeating Neuron before taking her down to half her health, and defeating her, gets a badge. The badge says "You saw Bobcat do something no one else has seen; fight with all her effort. Despite her best efforts, you still managed to put her down."
  • In Kingdom Hearts II, Kairi's only fight scene thus far in the series was in response to seeing Sora get ambushed by Heartless, drawing them to her so that they'll leave Sora alone.
  • In Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II, hurting or threatening Juno Eclipse is Starkiller's Berserk Button, but it works in reverse as well. When Darth Vader tries to turn Starkiller to the Dark Side, Juno grabs one of Starkiller's lightsabers and attacks Vader herself!
  • Louisa in Red Dead Redemption attempts this by charging a line of soldiers with a knife. It goes about as well as expected.
  • Dragon Age II
    • The character Aveline is introduced as her husband Wesley is disarmed by Darkspawn, upon which she blindsides it, punches it silly and cuts its head off, all the while proclaiming, "You will not have him! They will not have you, not while I breathe."
    • Female!Hawke has a moment like this if you're romancing Anders: you can tell him that, if the Templars come for him, they'll have to go through you first.
  • Marble in the erotic game Corruption Of Champions does not like it when others mess with the PC after she has been romanced.
  • Mortal Kombat has two of these ladies in the reboot, specifically in Mortal Kombat X:
    • Jacqueline Briggs and Takeda Takahashi have lots of Ship Tease, and when Takeda needs some aid Jacqui is more than happy to protect him.
    • Sonya Blade is a rather special case to Johnny Cage. Throught he reboot itself they've had massive Belligerent Sexual Tension and were married for a while but ended up in what seems to have been a NASTY divorce, and as a consequence Sonya is one Hell of a Type A Tsundere to him and, in a way, to their Action Girl daughter Cassie.. But in the rare moments when Johnny TRULY needs help and Sonya is nearby, she will give it to him without a single ounce of hesitation. Sonya's Story Chapter in X has Johnny beaten to near death and about to be forcibly transformed into a Revenant through massive Body Horror; the following fights have Sonya (reluctantly) defeating a Revenant Jax first, and then unleashing her fury without any restraints on the actual culprit, Quan Chi (Groin Attack included!), while Raiden does his best to keep Johnny alive.
  • In Street Fighter X Tekken, while Ling Xiaoyu is not officially Jin Kazama's girlfriend, she IS his partner in this game AND acts like one towards him in their shared quest to find Pandora and use it to get rid of Jin's Devil Gene..
    • The trailers have Jin as a bit of a Rare Male Example to "Xiao", since he goes berserk and all but becomes Devil Jin when he finds out that Xiaoyu has been severely beaten by Juri Han.

Visual Novels[]

  • Arcueid to Shiki Tohno from Tsukihime. The natural result when your love interest happens to be pretty much the most powerful thing on the whole freaking planet. Given how insanely scary and unstable Arc can be at times, its a real good thing that Shiki is more than capable of taking care of himself.
  • Shall We Date?: Ninja Shadow has an Action Survivor ninja-in-training as its Player Character, and while all of her love interests are massive badasses in their own rights (and the one who's not is still a Guile Hero Action Survivor), if they need her aid she'll leap to their defense. In Asagi's route she verbally rips a new one into his abusive elders who nag him for thinking he's too weak to inherit the Himuro Shrine, and in Toya's she physically rushes to shield him with her sickle and chain from the far more powerful Gin Shinonome (pictured above)

Web Comics[]

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 Ally: Listen hard, you cradle-rapin' fuck! Hit "Undo" or I'm shovin' bone splinters from y'r nose straight into y'r precious brain!

Fitz: Technically it's not my nose.

Ally: Y'think this is open-mike night, corpse? This ain't a bluff! You are not fighting an idealist now! She moves or I end you!"

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Western Animation[]

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 Sierra: En garde! That's French for "leave my boyfriend alone!"

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  • Kim Possible does this as for her best friend and later boyfriend Ron as a matter of course.
  • Harley Quinn is a villainous example on Batman the Animated Series. See also Catwoman in the episode "Almost Got 'Im".
  • Lois gets this way about Peter on Family Guy.
  • Cybersix is generally a calm person, but she still will kick ass five different ways if Lucas is in danger.
  • Leela in Futurama. You may be able to sell Schmuck Bait to Fry with ease, but not with her around.

Real Life[]

  • George Harrison's wife Olivia saved him from being murdered by an insane intruder in 1999. When said intruder broke into their home, George initially went out to confront him in the hopes of diverting attention away from his wife. He was stabbed repeatedly in the process, at which point Olivia came out and beat the hell out of the fifteen-years-younger intruder with a fireplace poker, successfully disabling him.
  • Watch an episode of Cops sometime. Even if the woman is calling to report her boyfriend/husband is abusing her, if they attempt to arrest the boyfriend, often the woman will turn her rage against the cop.
  • Henriette Caillaux: In pre World War One France, a big feud erupted between her husband Joseph — then the left-leaning minister of Finance and a proponent of progressive taxation — and the conservative newspaper Le Figaro. In order to destroy Joseph Caillaux's reputation, Gaston Calmette, the Figaro's director, bribed the Caillaux's maid to steal embarrassing letters Joseph had written. Henriette did not approve: she made an appointment with Calmette, and once in his office, simply said, "You know why I am here," before shooting him five times in the chest. Then, because simply killing someone who attacked her husband's reputation was not enough, she and her lawyer took advantage of the existing stereotypes of the time, pleaded the unpremeditated crime of passion despite the fact that premeditation was glaringly obvious, and eventually was acquitted a mere four months after the murder, before starting a career as an art historian while her husband stayed in politics until 1940.
  • During a hearing, a man broke into Parliament's chambers to throw a plate a shaving cream in Rupert Murdoch's face. His wife Wendi responded by lunging for the attacker and slamming him in the face with her palm.
  • The Lady of Adventure Julie D'Auvigny is said to have been a bi version. She was involved with both men and women; when one of her most steady girlfriends was sent to a convent, Julie's reaction was to get into said convent, steal a dead nun's corpse, put it in the girlfriend's bed, escape with her, and burn the building itself down.
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